Save Yourself
by MissCheckMate123
Summary: SONG FIC. Shinji is starting to think...is it really worth being Hikari's girlfriend, if he is causing her life to go down the drain, in a car with the radio on and Hikari by his side, what will he say to her and will she understand? PADL Ikarishipping


**Heya guys, its RisingDawn201, back with another Ikarishipping story for you :D Sorry, but this is like an Anti-Ikarishipping story...kinda, well it can be both. It's really a song fic, and I adore the song. If you have read my lastest Song fiction for Ash and Dawn, you will know I am obsessed with James Morrison! And of course, this is another song by him MUHAHAHA, he is so adorable! All his songs are AMAZING! The song is called 'Save Yourself'. I am AGAIN, going to use the Japanese names, Shinji, Hikari, blah blah! Okay let's get on with it :)**

**Note: In Shinji's POV and in lyrics are in **_**Italics and centered.**_

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I look at her, wondering if I'm going to do the right thing.... this song 'Save Yourself' so much like my life at the moment... listening to it while I'm in the car, looking outside the window, raining as usual. Looking back on my life. My girlfriend, Hikari... I'm going to miss her, but I am doing the right thing. Let us go back.... I took in a breath... before turning to find Hikari staring out the window. This was it, finally..._sing it Shinji...sing it..._

_I'm trying to change  
to make the best, for us..._

She turned her head with confusion dancing in her eyes. I really did, I really did try, but I couldn't keep my anger in. I couldn't believe she had ever said yes to me, and I can't believe I let her go. I felt so weak when I tried being nice, showing too much of myself, but you know what? I don't think Hikari liked it either...but it did hurt.

_But I'm just the same  
same as I ever was_

So true...so very true... Her eyes widened a bit, I think she knew what was coming. She shook her head slowly, eyes bewildered and pleading to stop what I was singing. _Please _Hikari, don't...don't do this to me. I felt myself shiver...

_Oh and if you stay with me  
honestly it's what I want_

Was that..a smile? I looked at her, her face. I smiled on it. Jeez, I never ever knew why she smiled. Always smiled at the wrong points for the wrong reason. I chuckled! Me, Shinji, CHUCKLED! I loved it when she did this to me...too bad this is gonna...no Shinji...keep going, I can do this...

_But if you stay with me  
I know I'll hurt you more.._

I really am hurting her. I can tells eh covers her emotions with a smile, that's when you know that she's not herself. She ... her...damn. Those eyes, like a spell dragging me into her. Seducing me...all she had to do was smile! So unique! I loved her so much...this is hurting me. My heart was aching, but she needed to do this for me...

_So won't you save, save yourself  
by leaving me now  
For someone else_

She frowned, still with a hint of confusion. She shook her head a bit more, before grabbing my hand and squeezing it. I had to turn away, making sure I didn't get distracted. My heart, it was crying for me. I turned a little to find her mouth partly open. My heart...oh man...

_if I'm crying out  
don't listen to it  
It's only my heart_

That's good Shinji, keep it up...suddenly I heard a faint sound, I turned to find Hikari, singing with me...saying:

_Save yourself  
it's only my heart  
Oh no_

My turn. I took in a breath before I took a hold of her other hand and started sqeezing it. Her eyes, telling me to go on. She did this with me, liked me to finish what I was saying. She definitely wasn't like the other girls, always wanting someone to listen and always squealing out. Oh no, she always was great at listening, always good at comforting and making you whole again. Making you feel like you were the best. Oh how much I wanted to change my mind on what I was about to do. I grunted it a bit before realising, that I wanted HER to change my mind.

_So tell me I'm wrong  
please won't you change, my mind_

I sighed. I'm so pathetic, wanting her to change my mind, what was I thinking? I found myself inches away from her face. I was leaning across, with her leaning back. Eyes still pleading me to stop, but I won't stop till this song comes to an end. _I love you Hikari._ I wanted to say that so much...but this wasn't exactly the time for me to say it. Why was love so hard?

_This loves so intense  
sometimes it can lead, you blind_

It really can lead you blind, especially with the sweet Hikari, always making you smile. My hand was combing her hair. Her clueless eyes staring into mind. Most of the time, she didn't even know what I was doing to her. Her eyes were slightly watery, but she still showed a slight smile.

_Oh and if you stay with me  
honestly it's what I want  
But if you stay with me  
I know I'll hurt you more_

She shook her head a bit more, before a tear rolled down her face. I felt my hand, sliding up her waist slightly before moving to her arm and up it half way. I stopped and looked up to her, her mouth partly open, her lips wet, I moved my gaze upwards towards her eyes. Dazzling as usual, swirling with delight yet pleading me as well. _Come on Shinji, don't get distracted. _

_So won't you save, save yourself  
by leaving me now  
For someone else_

She didn't dare move, she was just trying to take in what I was saying, I could feel my heart collapsing. Did I seriously want to do this? I...I'm still in love with her, but...she deserves someone better...oh Arceus. She's giving me those eyes that I loved so much and couldn't bear to leave contact of. I felt like I was going to cry myself. I could tell she was trying to be strong, telling herself that she was going to be fine. That's my girl, strong as a bull, more beautiful than a swan. My heart...this is my heart speaking....

_if I'm crying out  
don't listen to it  
It's only my heart  
save yourself  
It's only my heart  
save yourself_

I felt my eyes watering. Me Shinji, cry? Been a while, last time I cried was when I was five. However, I wasn't crying just yet... but she sure was. I felt myself moaning to myself. Keep going Shinji..yeah right, keep telling yourself that.

_And I don't want to let you go  
But I know  
that it's the right thing to do baby_

It really is the right thing to do Hikari. I sighed before realising that I found myself whimpering slightly. Why did she have to do this to me... Tears were finally falling from the eyes, twinkling as they leaked down, flowing down the cheek and dropping onto the car floor. Please sweetheart.... don't cry. Please... I started letting my hand slide up her arm again and onto her shoulder. Soon I was up above her chest and started sliding it across, as I past, I felt her heart beat, slow and steady. I then took my finger and traced it up her neckline like it was a simple pencil sketch while she closed her eyes while the tears were coming down. Oh why Dawn, please don't cry. Feeling the soft skin against my finger, I slowly started sliding it upwards to find that my hand was now cupping her cheek and was bringing her forward...

_And I don't think I'm that strong  
to say goodbye  
I don't wanna see you cry..._

Please, Hikari...making my heart break when see you cry, her cheeks glowing red and her eyes dimmed into that midnight blue, not showing any sign of light. Leaning in so my fore head was touching hers, I sighed. Feeling her hot, husky breath against my mouth. This made me all so desperately to swiftly move in and make contact with her lips. Oh so how much I wanted to do that, but I can't let her do this to me; if I do keep this up, I will hurt her...so much. I just hope that she will understand me....I beg, please understand Hikari...

_if I'm crying out  
don't listen to it  
It's only my heart_

If only I could see that smile that could mend my heart, the smile I am pleading to see. The things I so want to see and do with you before I go. Alas, time is up, almost nine in the evening, she needs to get home. Our last drive home. My hands playing around with her locks of midnight blue hair, her eyes focused on mine. Please Hikari, don't give me those eyes, your gonna hurt me, but mostly, you are gonna hurt yourself. Oh, Hikari.

"Smile for me for the last time babe..." I whispered silently...almost enough for her to hear. With this she gladly did. As soon as the smile appeared; her whole face appeared to light up, showing that glow on the edge, as if she were an angel from above. I smirked, angel from above eh? Well, it was definitely the best way to describe the blissful girl. _Hikari...understand..._ as if she could read my thoughts she nodded and she leaned in more, so her lips were soon near my ear. She seriously gave me the chills when she did this...in a good way.

"I understand..." she whispered. Man, she really is unique...with that I couldn't hold it back any longer. I loved her too much to let it go.

"Kiss me one last time." And with that she gladly did and soon our lips brushed against each other. The smooth, effective touch sent shivers down my spine, but also, it gave me a sense of going overboard. My hand went around her back, pushing her into me while her hands continued to play with my purple hair. I could tell from that, that she could understand why I was leaving, I wasn't just doing it for me. I was doing it for her.

Soon, we were at her house, just outside. The rain was still pouring down, but she didn't seem to mind it like most girls would. She took one last glance at me, before kissing her hand and waving it to me. An air kiss as they say. She soon slammed the door shut and walked around the car, clutching her coat and was at the door in a matter of seconds, waving goodbye. I hocked my car horn a few times, telling her I had seen her. She disappeared into the house and shut the door behind her. I stayed in the car, staring at the house. I smirked. _Goodbye..._I muttered.

_Save Yourself...._

_It's only my heart_

_Save yourself..._

_It's only my heart..._

My heart's crying out for you Hikari, but it's also telling me to let you go. Am I doing the right thing? Am I really protecting her? Or am I hurting her more? I looked back on my life with her... and started realising...I was doing the right thing, and something told me, she knew it too... I smiled to myself, something I haven't done in a long while... I put my head back. The rain was slowing down...slowly.

_It's only my heart_

_Only, only my heart...._

I drove off, leaving my sweet darling behind, but taking memories of her with me.... _goodbye Hikari... wish you all the love for the future...I will always love you...._

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**How was THAT for my first Ikarishipping song fic? Hope you liked it :D Yhhh, Shinji (my sweet Shinji, I just had to say that XD) is OOC! HOWEVER GET USED TO IT :D lol, my next Ikarishipping fic is called 'Not So Bad'. OH I wanna say thanks to 'The biggest ikarishipping fan ' for the review of my first one shot on Ikarishipping. I'm glad I made your day! Cause you made mine :D. Again, I hope you enjoyed this and please PM me or review on your opinions of this . It's been a while since I read a song fic on Ikarishipping :) Actually, its so long a go I even FORGOT when! XD lol, I am sooo baddd, I have been sooo forgetful lately! Not only are my parents annoyed, I am annoyed! I left my watch in the lab coat at school, two pens and of course I just had to forget my PE jacket! XD Next thing you know I'll forget what my bus number is to get to school, or worse, forget my teachers name XD They hate it when I call them by their first name. Like when I get in trouble and I am like, CHILLAX DANIEL (English teacher) or CALM DOWN KEITH (Maths teacher) or worst of all 'HERE BOB'for registration XD ! LOL XD Until then bye my friends! REVIEW ! :)**


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